So here I am, in the aftermath of the New Year's glitter and promises, trying to keep my head above water amidst a whirlwind of unexpected blows. Life threw me a curveball – setbacks, disappointments, and a heartbreaking tragedy that left me reeling. This isn't your typical "I'm not fine" moment; this is the raw, unfiltered truth.

I kicked off with restlessness, graduated to insomnia-fueled couch marathons, and finally, landed in a state where every inch of my body aches – the kind of ache that makes you want to hibernate and shut the world out. And what did I do? I put on a brave face, told everyone around me, and even convinced myself that I was "fine."

Let's be real. I AM NOT FINE! I'm hurting, I'm grappling with sadness, and honestly, I feel like shit. There, I said it.

As I pour my thoughts onto the screen, my stomach churns with that familiar nervous pain that comes when you're about to lay bare your soul. It's ironic – my sister and co-author, Kelly, is diving into a well-being journey this year, and here I am, feeling like I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. My well-being is hanging by a thread, with my heart shattered by the unimaginable loss of my Aunt Ila, a friend's rejection, the chaotic political landscape, and my son, Julian, stuck in a seemingly purposeless rut. It's a lot to carry.

So, what's the game plan?

• First off, I'm owning up to it – I need help, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Professional help is on the horizon, a compass to navigate the storm of emotions.
• Then there's the elusive concept of rest. Now, those who know me know I'm not exactly best friends with the idea, but my body is staging a rebellion, and it's time to listen.
• And last but not least, a spa session is on the cards for Monday – a therapeutic, "hurts so good" massage that promises a physical release matching the emotional weight on my shoulders.
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Three commitments. That's what I can handle right now. I want to be fine, but the first step in healing is acknowledging when you're not. So here I am, embracing the chaos and taking small but meaningful steps towards reclaiming my well-being. Stay tuned for the journey – it's bound to be a bumpy, honest ride.

Love and Peace!

Tune in to a recent Lucy Leadership Project Virtual Book Talk on Navigating Workplace Trauma with Dr. Christina Camp. This discussion led to my commitments to my healing. Click the image below to watch/listen.